Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
