It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
