You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
