Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
