i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
