I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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