I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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