I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize