SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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