You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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