im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize