Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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