For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
