i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just googled if crying burns calories
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
