There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
