And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
