Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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