I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
