Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize