We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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