I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
