Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
