We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
