Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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