You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
