You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We got so high we made milksteak
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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