I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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