what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
