FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
