The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
