They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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