We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
