After last night, I could never be a politician.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
