I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize