Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
