Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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