I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
