I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
