U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
