Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
