she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
