bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
