i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
