i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
