You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
