I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
