It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
