Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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