every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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