My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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