I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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