i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
