how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
