You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
being pregnant is like rehab
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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