so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Everclear isn't food dammit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
